Social Intelligence | How to attract people |
Several types of intelligence were discovered in the recent decades. One of the most important parts of emotional intelligence is social intelligence.
Social intelligence helps us to better understand people around us and our relationship with them. It will let you know if someone is sad about a situation, if a phrase you use can be irritating and even how someone will react if you use certain words. Those are the basic reasons why we need to improve our social intelligence.
It is also teaching us how to read body language and detect the thoughts of the person we are analyzing. Developing social intelligence is a great tool that will serve us in many life situations. For this reason, you should interact with many people in your free time and work on the development of your social intelligence as much as you can.
How to develop social intelligence?
The first thing you should do is the most obvious – you have to be talking to other people more often. You have to meet new people just to see if someone you know is selfish, mean or a good friend. Social intelligence can be very beneficial.
For example, you can detect a toxic person right after the first meeting after working on your social intelligence. Of course, you should be aware that you don’t have to be right every time. Even people who practice these signs for years can be wrong about someone. In the end, it all depends on the person.
The benefits of social intelligence
You might fall in love with a person who will later make you suffer. Developing social intelligence will help you detect it before you fall in love and gives you the chance to meet a more interesting person.
Imagine that there comes a time when you’ve reached a stage of social intelligence, it will be able for you to detect someone who will soon be one of your best friends. This incredible ability can also help you identify a good partner for your future business and alert when you come across a bad partner. How beneficial would that be?
You could see straight away if your future boss is someone you’d have a good collaboration with or just someone looking after their own interests no matter what.
It will also give the necessary intuition to know how to treat someone you just met a few minutes ago.
Developing social intelligence by creating groups of personalities
When you meet a person with a certain way of speaking, certain body language, certain physical appearance or looks like someone else that you know much more detail about, you can begin to understand their psychology.
One of the things that make social intelligence extremely interesting is the ability to get your own conclusions as well. You can learn the facts and know how to identify specific groups of people but you can also create your own groups based on your conclusions. For example, you can see that people in certain regions have similar habits and ways to express themselves. By travelling often and meeting more people from different countries, you will be able to differentiate them from one another because of your own conclusions and experience.
For example; people living in the part of southern hemisphere tend to be warmer, friendlier. Instead, those living in the part of the northern hemisphere, tend to be colder, more distant.
You must understand that this is essential in order to develop social intelligence. These are things that you will realize by meeting many people. You can also get your own conclusions by reading books, watching interesting documentaries where the latest discoveries of science and more are presented.
All this helps develop social intelligence.
The importance and impact of social intelligence
Did you know that not respecting the opinions of others and be very unassertive (hell out of the conversation and let them keep thinking the same thing) can make you lose many opportunities and become less attractive to people?
Although you may think that you have mastered social intelligence at one point, you should not become judgemental. Remember that we are all different and nothing is completely right or completely wrong. You may meet people with similar features but different personalities and you should always leave a little bit of space for someone to gain your trust, instead of being firm right at the beginning.
You can learn how to attract people
When it comes to social intelligence, it does not only refer to society and strangers. It is also important in romance and attraction between two people.
How? – First of all, keep in mind that seduction is a process that usually occurs between two people without too much talking. Being a seducer does not mean to be a stereotyped pattern set by society (like a movie star or TV model). It involves leveraging the qualities we have and exploit them to the maximum. From there, to be an excellent version of ourselves and feel comfortable in our own skins.
There are certain myths regarding seduction that definitely need to be removed. One them is to think we have be good looking. This is false, since there are very seductive people who are not pretty. Beauty, of course, helps, but is not a necessary condition to seduce.
Another myth is the belief that one cannot be seductive. There are people who believe that they are not meant to conquer. Suddenly, they discover certain skills for seduction and start being seductive, because seduction is an art that can be learned.
Some things you should keep in mind:
Use what you have
There are certain personality characteristics that are very attractive to seduce. Such as the sense of humor, confidence and communication skills.
Styles to seduce
If you are going for the intellectual way of seducing, you can talk about books or traveling with the person you’d like to attract.
When it comes to charismatic way, just being yourself and cute about is enough.
The erotic way is pretty obvious. Some people are most attracted by fantasies and erotic thoughts and you can attract them easily
Remember that attracting people and developing your social intelligence are two very similar things. One way or another, you are analyzing the person and showing the best of you to them. Whether it’s a business matter, social life or romantic life, you will need these skills to help you do better.
Also check out Bill von Hippel’s Ted Talk at TED xUO : The neuroscience of Social Intelligence.